What 5 years of adulting has taught me.

For me, adulting officially began when I graduated from university. Growing up, life after university meant independence — a time where I could think, act and make decisions without anyone’s permission. I remember always wanting to be an adult, which in my juvenile mind, was simply working a fancy job and living in my own apartment. And I longed for that classic yuppie lifestyle. I saw graduating university as a milestone that I needed to cross for that to happen.

Looking back at the last 5 years, I realize that being an adult is so much more than earning money and living alone. Being an adult is about taking true responsibility for your actions and decisions. It’s about finding your passions, setting the right goals and prioritizing the things that make you happy. And it’s about choosing the people you want around you while you’re doing all of the above.

With the experience and hindsight I have now, here are a few things I would tell my 21 year old graduating self.

Take a moment and feel proud.

2015: 5 years since I graduated from university

Graduating in my family was a right of passage. I don’t think I ever had the option of not completing my undergraduate degree. That mindset didn’t allow me to step back and revel in what I had just accomplished. I brushed it aside and never thought of it as a big deal. But it is a big deal. It’s years of hard work and resilience that you should carry proudly on your shoulders.

Thinking back, acknowledging my hard work would have given me the confidence I needed while I was job hunting. It also would have helped me articulate my experience to better prove my capabilities and the value that I bring. I mean if I could go through four years of university, I can do anything!

An open mind is an open heart

2016: 4 years since I started working at an organization that I never thought I would be in

One year after graduating university, I started working at a financial institution. For those that know me well, it sounds very out of character. In all honesty, I have no interest in finance. But while I work for a bank, my field of expertise isn’t finance related at all — I work in Marketing and Communications, which is definitely up my alley.

Don’t shut down an opportunity just because it isn’t your preferred industry. You don’t know what you can learn unless you do it. While I am not a finance person, I’ve learnt tremendously about the finance industry and so much more about the marketing and communications space. Keeping an open-mind about where you want to go allows you to be flexible and adaptable — this opens a wider pool of options for your next opportunity!

Being open-minded has also taught me to be curious and empathetic instead of rigid and judgmental. I’m more open to understanding people’s choices and actions which has made my personal and professional relationships much more meaningful.

Don’t underestimate the importance of emotional independence

2017: 3 years since I moved out of my parents home

A year after I started working, I made one of the most important decisions of my life. I wanted to live on my own for so long and I took my chance. For South Asian families, this isn’t normal and it isn’t widely accepted to live away from your family. And it’s harder for South Asian women to make a case to live alone. But if you can afford it, I highly recommend that you take the plunge and move out.

For me, living with my parents was very much in my comfort zone. The only way I could grow further was by getting out of my comfort zone. Living on my own gave me this new found emotional independence that I find so valuable till date. It made me realize that I don’t need people around me, that I can not just survive but I can thrive on my own. It’s powerful to know how to be happy and content while being alone and I’m so grateful I was able to get into that mindset sooner than later.

Use your money to make more money

2018: 2 years since I started seriously investing my money

I cannot stress how important it is to be financially literate. While living alone taught me to budget my money better, I took to saving religiously and investing my money only much later. As a young graduate, I would highly recommend investing your money early on and seeing how your saved money brings you more value. To get started, you can begin with auto-investing tools like WealthSimple and Questrade and then build up your portfolio as you understand the stock market better.

Of course depending on your situation, be conscious of how you invest but don’t let your savings sit in cash. As Warren Buffet says, ‘Investing is laying out money now to get more money back in the future.’

The most important investment is the one you can make on yourself

2019: 1 year since I started putting myself first

And while we talk about investments, the most important one you can make is on yourself, your growth and your happiness. It’s not selfish to put yourself first — in fact, it’s necessary. Don’t hesitate to cut things and people out of your life that don’t add value or help you grow. If you don’t nurture or love yourself, there’s no way you can support and provide for the loved ones around you.

Put in the time and effort to continuously learn, develop personally and grow emotionally. You can’t save the world, but you can save yourself, so always focus on you and always choose you.

For those of you who just graduated, this is a strange time and there is no way I understand what you’re going through. But the best advice I’ve received during periods of uncertainty is to not lose your self-confidence. Your faith and your hope is far more powerful than you think so hold on it to it tight and it will guide you forward.